Smart Phones
by HybridPlaything
Summary: Another series of One Shots. Humorous. CH2. The boys have a little too much fun and the questions require answers. Too bad only the girls decided to moderate their drinks. RnR, Thanx
1. Chapter 1

**Smartphones**

_**Author's Note:**_ If anyone has ever visited the site smartphowned dot com then you might know kind of hilarity in store here. A friend of mine gave me this link knowing that I was having some issues a while back with plot lines and character creation. This will be another collection of oneshots purely dedicated to random characters and the funny things that happen when you own a "smart" phone. To see the link of the original pic fix up the following url

www [dot] smartphowned [dot] com /view/ Relationships/196769

Also feel free to look around on the site and send me some of your favorite links.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Gundam Wing is owned by Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu and others. The authors in this archive make no claim of ownership of anything but their ideas and the stories themselves, and write for entertainment only. No copyright infringement intended.

_'Italics'_ – Words being written or read.

'Apostrophes' – Thoughts.

"Quotations" – Speech.

**I love you China Man!**

Duo made his way into the darkened locker room with a relieved sigh, his two day surveillance mission turned into a week long event. He hated when the newbies made excuses to get out of field work and the Lady couldn't be bothered to find a replacement team to relieve him. At least she had left a few of the shower stalls and the hallway lit for his return. He'd be able to shower and change into a clean pair of clothes before having to make the forty five minute drive home. Thank goodness for small favors.

Half an hour and two sandwiches(courtesy of Dr. Po) Duo sat in the parking lot of Preventer's HQ debating whether or not to call his boyfriend. Two seconds later Duo was texting, telling himself that if Wufei was asleep then at least he would see it in the morning.

_'Hey babe, made it back okay. Ima head home right now. Love ya 3'_

The almost immediate reply startled Duo to say the least.

_'I love you too -_- '_

_'What's wrong?'_

_'I'm Chinese babe, so when I smile I look like this -_- '_

Duo read the text twice before bursting into laughter. Then he had to wonder if his beautiful lover was drunk out of his mind.

_'Oh... In that case..._

_(-.-(-.-(-.-(-.-)-.-)-.-)-.-)_

_The Chinese Mafia is watching you...(-.-) '_

_'They're only funny if you're Asian...If you're not then it's just racist -_- '_

_'If it's racist then why are you smiling? :) Love you Babe~_

Far from the parking lot where Duo sat smiling like a loon, in a small town house apartment Wufei stared at his phone in disbelief. The braided menace had pulled one over on him, using his own 'logic' too. Wufei smiled, small and happy, even though it was an ungodly hour to be up; he was glad that his lover was back safe and sound. Perhaps a swift fist to the top of his head would inform Duo just how much he was missed. With a plan in mind Wufei fell into the first peaceful sleep he had had in a week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Smartphones**

_**Author's Note:**_ If anyone has ever visited the site smartphowned dot com then you might know kind of hilarity in store here. A friend of mine gave me this link knowing that I was having some issues a while back with plot lines and character creation. This will be another collection of oneshots purely dedicated to random characters and the funny things that happen when you own a "smart" phone.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Gundam Wing is owned by Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu and others. The authors in this archive make no claim of ownership of anything but their ideas and the stories themselves, and write for entertainment only. No copyright infringement intended.

_'Italics'_ – Words being written or read.

'Apostrophes' – Thoughts.

"Quotations" – Speech.

**Friday Night**

Quatre groaned, he should have known that inviting the guys and the 'gang' over for a remembrance party was a bad idea. Namely because someone, who shall remain nameless, Trowa fucking Barton, can't celebrate without large quantities of alcohol. Reaching over to grab his phone Quatre noticed something very wrong with his five hundred dollar phone. The neat spider-web like cracks in the screen. 'What the fuck!' Was the appropriate thought, then he figured he may as well check the damn thing to ensure it still functioned. It did, and he had two unread messages. Joy.

_Hey Q Ima b late. Luv Hilde_

Okay, that wasn't so bad. Next Message.

_-_- Look out It's a WHALE!_

Allah was Wufei weird when he got drunk. Deciding to respond to the safe text Quatre went back to Hilde's text.

_Hey, why is there a huge crack in my phone?_

_Oh, you don't remember?_

_No._

_Well, you got really drunk then put your phone in Airplane Mode and threw it off the balcony while yelling TRANSFORM! When it landed you only had one thing to say...Worst Transformer ever. Noin has the video of it but you can check YouTube as well._

_I'm Never Drinking Again. Ever._

_Lol_

-:-:-:-:-:-

Fortunately Quatre wasn't the only one who was suffering Duo was going through his messages and found that Wufei did indeed message everyone with whale faces and Heero left him a seven minute voicemail detailing the importance of refraining from showing Wufei any new 'txt' tricks. 'Oh look a new message!'

_Boy you were so drunk last night! Sally_

_I wasn't that drunk!_

_You were in one of Quatre's closets yelling "WHERE THE FUCK IS NARNIA!" Sally_

_FML_

_DONT TELL FEI!_

_Too late :) Sally_

Duo was so never living this one down.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Heero was going to kill whoever gave Relena his phone number, he was going to have to change it again.

_So, You got pretty trashed last night._

_No. I did not._

_Is that so? You threw Trowa's hamster across the room and shouted "Pikachu I choose you!"_

_My phone number was payment for your silence about this?_

_Yup, see at seven tonight for the other half of my payment._

Perhaps Heero would have to shoot himself for that major lapse of sanity.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Down in Quatre's kitchen two phones beeped at the same time rousing their owners. Wufei was the first to look at the message, and instantly was confused.

_How was your game? Une._

_Game?_

_Last night you demanded Zechs throw fruit at you while you tried to slice it with your sword. Apparently you were training to be a fruit ninja. Une_

_...Was I any good? I don't remember._

_How'd you know?_

_Check YouTube for Dragon challenges Fruit FAIL. You can thank Noin later. Une_

Wufei could feel a migraine growing, he was going to have to find a way to keep Duo from seeing that. Least he have his lover teasing him with fruit for the next two years. Looking over at Trowa who was staring at his phone he walked over to see what caused the blank stare.

_Hey bro, can you bring some pineapple when you come home? ~Cathy_

_Yeah sure, why pineapple though?_

_Well last night you were stabbing pineapple screaming for Spongebob to stop hiding and now I really want pineapple. ~Cathy_

_How do you know about that?_

_Check Youtube Dragon challenges Fruit FAIL, and have Wufei watch it with you. You can clearly be seen and heard at 3:56. Glad you boys at least had fun ~Cathy_


	3. Chapter 3

**Smartphones**

_**Author's Note:**_ If anyone has ever visited the site smartphowned dot com then you might know kind of hilarity in store here. A friend of mine gave me this link knowing that I was having some issues a while back with plot lines and character creation. This will be another collection of oneshots purely dedicated to random characters and the funny things that happen when you own a "smart" phone.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Gundam Wing is owned by Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu and others. The authors in this archive make no claim of ownership of anything but their ideas and the stories themselves, and write for entertainment only. No copyright infringement intended.

_'Italics'_ – Words being written or read.

'Apostrophes' – Thoughts.

"Quotations" – Speech.

**Captain Obvious**

The mission took longer then expected but that was the norm when working with Heero Yuy, though it was much worse with a paranoid Heero Yuy. But that was neither here nor there and Wufei went ahead and sent off two very important texts letting two very protective brunettes that he and Yuy had returned safely and would be leaving HQ in about ten to fifteen minutes. Now normally Wufei would refrain from taking the chance of waking Duo, but he had 'orders' to let the braided menace know the moment Wufei was safe.

_'I'm back safe, you awake?'_

_'Yep, I'm skydiving 4AM.' _

_'Without me, love? Not cool.'_

_'It was either skydiving or platypus hunting.'_

_'I woke you up didn't I?'_

_No shit Captain Obvious! Now get home so I can take my anger out on your ass!'_

_'Promise?'_


End file.
